Why I've Decided to Vote Democrat

Buon giorno. This arrived in my Inbox, and I decided to share it with the world.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat be cause when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, they'll come over here, and I don't want to have any guns in the house to shoot them with.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that good intentions and lofty ideas are more important than demonstrating any mechanism or experience necessary to make them happen.

I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my dog.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

Makes you wonder why anyone would EVER vote Republican, now doesn't it?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Amazing Super Powers of the Mighty Atheist™

Image
by Cowboy Bob Sorensen Years ago, I wrote "atheist" on Twitter, and one cautioned me about using that word because I risked "calling down the thunder". We know that they can be ornery cusses even on their good days, but I was unaware of the intellectual prowess and wisdom of The Mighty Atheist™, dwarfing that of a mere theist. What I had yet to learn, however, is that they also have super powers that are even magical at times. Now I know better. Christians and creationists, I hope you heed this warning! Graphic modified from  Clker clipart As with other super powers, those of The Mighty Atheist™ are difficult to categorize. Not all atheists and evolutionists have the same powers to the same degree, and there is no special school for gifted atheists under a professor so they can develop their abilities. Like logical fallacies, powers often blend and overlap. Let's saddle up and ride over yonder to Deception Pass where the atheists, atheopaths, anti-crea
Read more

Where Does It Stop?

Image
I was going to give these topics a rest, but something came up. On a previous post, Zach made a comment, and I am excerpting it here. His first sentence is an answer to a question I had asked him. Hope you're not embarrassed, but I want to give you a more complete response than the comments section would allow: My lack of belief in the supernatural is pretty much complete - I have never seen any reason to attribute a supernatural cause to phenomena. I suppose I rule out supernatural explanations because once you let one in, where do you stop? I look at an event I do not understand and go immediately to natural causes. Even if I can't figure it out, I still would assume it had a natural explanation. I'm worried that if someone started attributing causes to supernatural events, they would skip over the whole 'natural cause' thing and go straight for the supernatural, because technically everything is potentially explainable by an omnipotent being, no?
Read more

Keeping My Wife at a Distance Online

Image
by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  Although nobody asked and I am under no obligation to explain myself, I will anyway. In several places, I have mentioned that I have a wife. (At Piltdown Superman when I'm writing in my cowboy character, I do not.) However, I never named or described her. The reason is quite simple: atheists and leftists. On more than one occasion, I have been physically threatened by them, especially angry misotheists. This only happened online, but some have stated they wanted to come over here — especially because I staunchly present creation science. Charlene at Niagara Falls in 2007 (?) EDIT: It occurred to me later that I left out a secondary factor. Years ago (and I am leaving off the sequence of events that led me to my reluctant conclusion), I could not have a Fakebook account under my real name. Apparently atheists in power there kept deleting my accounts, so I became someone else. She didn't call me by my real name when I was using that account. Although I la
Read more